Wasted Potential

RE: LSD Enforcement

Human experience is near its end due to LSD pollution across America. That’s what the scientists are saying. I was completely unaware of this fact until complaints of Reptile disturbance of the peace started hitting our office. Since then, I’ve been a little scared. The attached documents are apparently scientifically supported by deposits of LSD discovered in water supplies across the world.

LSD impurities have leaked into water supplies tentatively associated with outbreaks of Reptile People sightings.  Upon further research, interviews have shown that people exposed to the substance experience an intense desire to instate a completely hierarchical society. Each step on the ladder has a specific relation to the others and shares character traits that influence their behavior. I am afraid that our town will soon turn into a chess board of the infected. In my town the reptilians have been blamed for everything from rape to petty theft. The suicide rates have shot up dramatically. Even my gun has a magical attraction to it, as if the forces of the world had taken form and my own profession is a danger to me.

There have been happy times, but they will not be recorded here because happiness does not factor into the law. I only have just enough time in the day to enjoy pleasures and record problems in the hopes of figuring them out. As a cop, that is the range of my experience, even in a world of polluted psychological channels. For example, my own position in society is polluted by an inability to share pleasures with the world.

 I feel somehow corrupted by these Zombies. But maybe it’s the Reptiles who have ruined relations between cops and the general public. It’s even possible the changes going on have nothing to do with LSD. Before I was a cop, I did my share of drugs during the sixties. That time is just a blip now. Some people spend the rest of their life concerned with the trials of youth, but for me I have enough trouble keeping it together day to day.

I love America. But my love remains hidden to both Liberals and Conservatives as they each cast me in an equally inaccurate way, refusing to comprehend the true intellectual status of the police. They misunderstand the true state of vigilance. It’s the last thing preventing mutant hierarchies from destroying the last of human civilization. Soon, I’m guessing we’ll be joined by synthetic beings whose problems will overtake the public consciousness. We’re tired of the old American problems of race and violence. It may seem strange for a policeman to say this, but we yearn to be haunted by the mutant dawn of a new era.

Please examine the attached documents. It is of utmost importance for Lovettsville’s survival that we remain viable as a law enforcement team.

Sheriff Lloyd Patterson